Blogging Sober

Good god how does one navigate all the choices on this thing? When I first started blogging I was in a relapse and spend days, literally (drugs: there is no clock) online and tweaking my blog layout. I lack the patience for such a thing now. Also, I leave the house.

I decided to start a blog in order to consolidate my reports into one place as I have friends who are not on zuckerbook. It sounded easy - I've blogged before, right? 

No, it is not easy, not while sober. It requires patience and most of all, focus. It also demands risk. I've been tailoring my output to different audiences and a blog means that I will have to unplug the part of my psyche that (classic of all charlatans) keeps track of what personae I have presented to whom. 

If I ever needed more evidence that I was or am a big fat phony then there it is. Thats the thing about telling the truth - it is real simple, and a simple way to live. Simple in a good way. I dunno if I've told any actual lies to anyone (like I'd tell you) but it is more the bluster I exhibit that concerns me. It's OK if that goes though. It never did me much good anyway.

So to get back to technical (if you've read this far): 
As I have failed my goal of documenting my daily accounts I will instead post the trip report in sections such as Money, Possessions, Language, and other categories descriptive of just what is involved with getting rid of nearly all of one's possessions and packing up to move abroad for grad school at the ridiculous age of 50.

I should have titled this Coffee and a Melatonin because that is what I had tonight at 22:45 when I walked in the door and set to write a blog post. At present the two are battling it out with each other.

That I promised to write a blog is the one thing that made me avoid doing it - along with not knowing whether I could do this shit sober or not. Pfff. I write on facebook all the time. I stopped doing that though, the way a parent would remove TV privileges until the child does their homework. Nothing wrong with fb it just has the power to distract me. I log on to do or see one thing and end up three tabs over watching hurricane videos. That sort of thing.

The other more fear-inducing (read: cold shot of fear up the back of the neck) motivator for writing these entries is practice for my upcoming coursework. I am here for school after all. It's a one-year long Masters program. that means a shit load of writing whether I feel like writing or not.