4540

From 06:30 yesterday to 15:00 today I wrote 4,540 words among three separate assignments.

I left the apartment last night for an hour walk.

I left today at noon to go up and down the stairs three times, then to the bike shop and mailbox below.

I have one more assignment due tomorrow by midnight. It's the rough final copy of our term paper. I hear it is supposed to be 6,000 words. I told one classmate that I have a title.

Then they asked how many words I have on it. I repeated, I have a title.

Let's see if I get another four thousand five hundred and forty words submitted by tomorrow midnight.

I am not terribly stressed about it. The rough is 15% of our grade but to me that still leaves me 85%. It will most likely be a substantial number of words, not 6000 and probably a day late. That is OK too. I will live.

It doesn't make much sense to me, really. The finished version is due on January 5th. That is a month away. More than a month. The prof says it is to have something substantial to offer during peer review which is most of December. That is when, you guessed it, we review each other's rough drafts. That is also of little value to me, really. In my experience people end up saying the stupidest shit just becuase they think if they dont offer criticism then they wont appear intelligent. I usually just go for syntax. Who am I to judge.

I'm hard to intimidate. I have nothing to lose. I do my best and I work to the whip of my anxiety. If the whip aint cracking then aint a human on the planet going to make me work any harder than I feel like. I woke up rigid with anxiety yesterday. Actually it was more like surrender. I didnt even go for a morning walk. Just coffee, stretches and turning on the machine.

I'll nap for a bit (it is nearing 5pm here now), get up around 19:00. Go for a short walk or maybe even bike ride, start writing around 21:00 probably til 01:00. Class tomorrow from 15:00-17:00, home by 6pm and write til I feel like I am done.

That is the plan anyway. Not even sure if I'll get the nap in. Though it is much easier as I have no tv or facebook or friends or drugs or food or shopping or car or job or cat (oh, btw it occurred to me today that cats are so good at looking innocent), or lovers or movie passes or discretionary income or political views or weather or anything to distract me from living the monastic life that I do.

Excluding the sentence you are reading right now, that was another 400 words.

Seeing how tall these people are I dont think ''big'' is being used in a complimentary way.

 I cant read Dutch but judging by the suspension rope, the tighty-whiteys and the business heels it must be saying this way to a damn good party.

So only gays and straights get fucked and the rest get loved? 

      

 I havent seen these amber-eyed ducks before.

Sometimes you are quite pretty Amsterdam.

Then, three metro stops down the line. Cranes follow me everywhere.